Noooo

[dustedoffanoldie]

So, I decided to clean off people who no longer used, or have deleted me from LJ - and I ended up deleting about 95% of my list by accident :( That was NOT intentional, and hopefully you have all received my friend request again. Stupid fucking live journal. If for some reason we're still not friends, please poke me.

I've not updated for absolutely freaking ages, but Urgh. My life is in such limbo at the moment and I feel so bloody frustrated. I've never felt so low and depressed and I hate it. I've tried numerous times to sit and write in here, but I make myself even more miserable just reading how mundane and nothingy my life is at the moment. This isn't me. I know once I'm working, I'll feel better, but this stage I’m in right now sucks so much. I'm having the operation on my nose (to remove lose bone fragments.... mmm doesn't that sound delicious) on the 16th September, so hopefully once I'm healed from that I can start to look for work (that is, unless they want to operate on my bladder and put in this pace maker type thing, to try and help me pee...) Thing is, I've been at home and not working for so long, I'm scared. I have little to no self confidence - which has more or less been since my accident at work... and I just don't know what I could do. I'm 27 and feel as though I've done fuck all with my life, and I see no happy ending in sight.

Sorry this is such a Debbie Downer of a post. I just want you all to know I'm still here and still ♥ you all. Please don't forget me when I don't post for a while. Hopefully I'll be back to my usual perky self before we know it.

Don't forget to leave me a message here if we're still not friends on LJ again. I'm keeping this post open for a few days.

LOVE YOU

Comments

[arathesane.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am so sorry, that is so horrible, I know that there's very little I can say to be of comfort to you, but just know that I will keep you in my thoughts.

(As far as being deleted goes, I think as long as no one cut you instantly you won't have to add them back. I got a notice that you deleted me and then one about minute later that you had added me. I wouldn't worry about it.

Also, not necessarily the thing you want to hear right now, but you're only 27. I know things will get better for you. But I completely understand you feel depressed. When you're going through something like this, it's hard not to be. Just take care of yourself.

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks babes. I know once my operation is out of the way I'll probably feel a lot beter. I just hate not feeling like myself, you know?

MWAH

[elegantrenegade.livejournal.com]

I got the friend request and was like, "Did she consider deleting me?!" *cries*

I hope your surgery goes well. What are the immediate effects after the operation? It seems like it would hurt to breathe. :(

27 is not old, not by a long-shot. You've got plenty of time and you'll find something that makes you happy. It's like I'm always telling my bff - career doesn't have to be your life passion.

Love <3

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Mmhmm deleting you was INTENTIONAL mwahaha. Kidding, you know I ♥ you.

It shouldn't hurt to breathe at all after the operation, I more or less can't breathe through my nose right now anyway, so to be able to actually do that will be so exciting for me LMAO. It'll be sore, this is my third operation on my nose, so I know what to expect, but this time I'm seeing a GOOD doctor. One who wont leave bone fragments in my nose, so they can float around *puke*

I know 27 isn't old, I just feel old. Especially when I have to tick those stupid 25-35 year old boxes. Way to depress a woman lol. Oh and I totally agree with you, your job doesnt have to be your life. As long as I'm happy and making money to survive that is all I want. I've never really been one to have dreams - or the dreams I have had are totally stupid and beyond my capabilities. So yeah, as long as I can find something that doesn't make me wanna cry when I wake up each morning, I'll be fine. xxxx

[smoore23.livejournal.com]

I think you're on my f-list but I'm not on yours? idk, idk.

Anyway, I'm sorry about everything going on right now. I'll be thinking about you. Hope everything gets better for you. :)

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Added you back. Talk about stressing myself out when I saw it had deleted you all. I was like nooooooooo, but yay we're friends again :) This feels like when you're little, and you have a fight with your bff and you HATE each other, and the netx day you're friends again LOL - but without the hate ;)

Thanks hun, means a lot!!!

[medland.livejournal.com]

Please add me back. I am so sorry you are so sad. Can I do anything to help? <3

[allie83.livejournal.com]

I'm having my operation net week. So once I'm better we NEED a Starbucks and a catch up xx

*adding*

[kmbh.livejournal.com]

LOL! Now I understand why i got the message about being friends. I thought "Hang on, we are aren't we?" but I'm so bad at this stuff, I thought maybe not.

Sorry to hear you are down. Sending you cyber Brad to chase away the blues...

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Hee yeah, I confused everyone. Glad we're on each others list again though.

Ohhhhhhh, cyber Brad definitely makes me feel better mmmm!!!

[racistdragon.livejournal.com]

Awwww, Sally! ♥ ♥ ♥ I'm sorry you're feeling down right now. :( Don't apologize! I'm here for you if you need to vent/cry/talk about it. Everything's gonna be alright.

And, like everyone else says, 27 is not old!

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks chick. Do you even use msn/aim. If so, how are we not on each others lists?

Yeah I guess it isn't old at all, and maybe I'd feel differently if I'd done a wh ole lot with my life. Hopefully I'll shake this off *shakes*

[jayneleigh.livejournal.com]

Trust me, working isn't what it cracks up to be! Lol! I do get what you're saying though...Similiar for me except I hate that I'm working in a job that I don't want a career in. Feels like I'm wasting time.

Don't forget you've got your charity website to work on. Remember all the good you'll be doing.

Plus, we've got our Xmas shopping trip to plan! :-)

x

[allie83.livejournal.com]

LMAO yeah, why can't we just get paid to write fic and watch T.V (and drink tea mmm) Do you have any ideas about what you want to do? Or are you happy working somewhere you like, and geting paid?

I wish we could come up with something super awesome that we could do from home, and then become billionaires overnight LOL.

I'm so excited about out shopping trip. Zoe will be SOOOO jealous :)

[anonymeese.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

Good luck with that surgery. & You've got plenty of time to do awesome things with your life, don't fret my dear. :] ♥

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much babes *snuggles*

[theatrequeen217.livejournal.com]

aww sally <3 i hope your surgery goes well and that you feel better!

also i think you're on my flist now but i'm not on yours. please add me back!

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Added you bacccccccck. And thanks so much babes, it means a lot <3

[iwant-sprinkles.livejournal.com]

I wondered what happened when you deleted me! I thought it was because of my profound suckage as an eljay friend. STILL, I was glad that you added me back :) ♥

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low. Being out of work is tough, even without health problems. I really hope that everything works out okay and that you manage to build your confidence up again post haste! You have every reason to feel good about yourself ♥

[allie83.livejournal.com]

LOL, No no, stupid eljay wanted to mess with me and remove you all from my life, but I WOULD NOT LET IT WIN!!!

Thanks chick, I think once I get my confidence back a bit things will be easier. Also, we're coming in to autumn, and I get all SAD - cos you know, the English summer is SOOOO amazing my body obviously misses it once the trees change lol

[13-pines.livejournal.com]

Aha! I was wondering what was going on when I got the email this morning saying you had added me as a friend...I thought we were already friends!

Don't stress too much about your life right now. We're almost the same age, and sometimes I feel like my life is going nowhere too (even though I'm in law school!). But seriously, 27/28 is not old and we have plenty of time to do the things we've always wanted to do.

Good luck with your surgery. I hope it goes well and you heal quickly!

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Heeeee, my plan worked. To confuse you alllllllll :) But yeah, glad you're back on my friend's list :)

How long left do you have of law school?

Deep down I know 27 isn't old. I just feel it. I'm like an old soul in the body of someone who looks about 17 lol.

[13-pines.livejournal.com]

It's a three year program and I just started my second year in August.

[letisdorock.livejournal.com]

Ahn.. hate to see any of my friends like that. :(
Like can be bad, for a while. As everything in like, this will all pass.
Try to keep positive. You'll get better, never doubt it.

Really hope your surgery goes well and that you get back as fast as possible. :)

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks chick, hopefully it'll pass soon. Reading all your messages definitely helped me. When you feel blah you kinda forget for a bit thta there are people ot there who care, you know?

Mwah

[kassandra-w.livejournal.com]

*sending vibes for a successful surgery and for better times ahead for you, Sally*

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks lovely xxx

[kassandra-w.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Thanks babes, that means a lot. Not that I'm happy you feel sort of stuck as well, but it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. You sort of forget that sometimes, you know?

Mwaaaaaaaah

[glenvorian.livejournal.com]

I'll respond to your pm soonish doll, I fell asleep! Add ,me back? :)

[allie83.livejournal.com]

You fell asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep? ;)

Added you back homie <3

[lizzylizgurl.livejournal.com]

Love ya Sally! ♥

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Luv ya too Lizzy, talk on AIM soon okay? MISS YOU ♥♥♥

[satya.livejournal.com]

YOu had no idea how devastated I was when I thought you had de-friended me. I can't do the Internet if you're not around, even if we don't talk, I still love you. I always will.

[allie83.livejournal.com]

HELL NO. You are my chicken, and you ALWAYS will be. We may not talk much anymore, but I still ♥

MISS YOU

[satya.livejournal.com]

Thank you, chicken.
I miss you too and while you've been having a hard time, I've been working non stop so it makes it difficult for both of us to keep up, right?

I'm always here, if you need anything.

[leiaweasley.livejournal.com]

So glad you still want to be friends! Lol I was worried!

I'm sorry you've been feeling down :( I know things will work out for you :)

[borderlineamaze.livejournal.com]

*poke* I cannot live in a world where you and I aren't friends!

I hate blah, down, depressing ruts in life. :( I'm sorry, hun. If you feel like ranting about anything, I'm usually online. Feel free to IM me anytime. <3 *hugs*

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Your LJ name STILL confuses me lol. Added you back though. And thanks so much babes, it really mean a lot. I'lldefinitely ping you, kay? I sign on aim eery day but I forget to check it, so I need to get my act together lol :)xx

[sparkling-gurl.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about how you are feeling dear. How was the operation?

*hugs*

Can we still be friends? :)

[allie83.livejournal.com]

Just readded you, stupid lj for removing you :)

My operation went well, I'm still really sore though, boooo :(

MWAH